Baggage!

Came across this really amazing video! A story of how some of our possessions are more than just possessions. They are symbols of our journey called life!

http://vimeo.com/46352661#

Do take a look! 

The Balancing Act

Life has always been about maintaining the perfect balance. Right from the word go, you are expected to learn how to strike that balance. In school, you're expected to balance learning and playing. In college, you're expected to balance academics and friends. At work, you're expected to balance a career and a family. When older, you're expected to balance the lives of many people. There is just no end.

The hardest of all, at least from my experience, is to balance your own expectations. The balance needs to be created not only on what you expect, but also on who you expect it from and to what extent do you get affected (positively or otherwise) when that expectation is met or not.

At the outset, it can be seen as objectively as placing a bet on the player who has the highest odds of winning the game.

But in reality, it is not that simple. In reality, we place our bets (expectations) on the player (people/ things) that we have higher affinity (existing ties - friendships, relations etc.) towards and are more comfortable with.
The pitfalls in this method are significant though. The people and things that we have a greater affinity towards, have a higher tendency to let us down on many fronts. The fact that people, over time become comfortable and start to take this for granted is one such pitfall. The worst is that this can snowball beyond control. When things are taken for granted, the first thing to get affected is communication.

When communication stops, the entire eco system of being in a state of awareness comes to a grinding halt. Decisions get arbitrarily made, without the involvement of all those involved, assumptions are made on behalf of other people who have no clue about what is happening, and vital bits of the message get lost in transition and sometimes never find their way to the intended person.

If balance in life is to be achieved, it is not in keeping everyone happy. It also not in doing what pleases only yourself. The key to finding balance is in nurturing an effective communication system where all key stakeholders are involved and care enough to participate. If you are in a system where stakeholders don't care, it is time you cut your losses and move on. It is then that the balance in your life will be achieved. 

The Fall of Legends - What comes of it?

Global News is in a wild frenzy covering the 'fall' of cycling legend Lance Armstrong. They see a man, who has finally been brought to his knees, his pride and legacy slaughtered by allegations of doping and performance enhancing drugs. They see a man, a role model, a legend, an inspiration finally cave into the pressure of over a decade of continuous allegations - allegations on his commitment to the sport, allegations on his integrity and allegations on his comeback. 

Lance Armstrong, a man of sheer grit and determination, fought testicular cancer in the 1990's to come back to professional cycling and changed the face of cycling by winning an unprecedented 7 consecutive Tour de France titles between 1998 and 2005. Along with this awe inspiring comeback, he used the platform his cycling provided him to educate people about fighting cancer through his foundation Livestrong. 

The point of this post is not to take a side on whether Lance Armstrong is guilty or innocent; the point is to ask a few simple questions. 

What will be achieved, so many years later by stripping a man of everything that he stands for? 

If various governing bodies take doping so seriously, why was it not proved during the course of the various races? Why does it have to take so long?

Athletes who achieve tasks that are otherwise thought of impossible till that point of time, are immediately put under the scanner. Are authorities so skeptical that they have to test samples over decades to prove a point? 

These questions are not only specific to the case of Lance Armstrong, recent stories about Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt all point in the same direction. These are individuals who have made phenomenal accomplishments in sport, and are under the scanner. 

For me, as a person, what hurts the most is the fallout of the entire Lance Armstrong saga, is the hit that the Livestrong Foundation will take. The work that Lance Armstrong has put into it over the last decade has served as inspiration to countless people fighting cancer. 

I have admired Lance Armstrong since I was a kid, and more than anything the last two days have been personally painful for me to imagine the courage that Lance would have had, to put his foot down and say: 

"There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough.' For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999. Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a two-year federal criminal investigation followed by (an) unconstitutional witch hunt. The toll this has taken me to where I am today: finished with this nonsense. 

    I had hoped a federal court would stop the United States Anti-Doping Agency's charade. If I thought for one moment that by participating in USADA's process, I could confront these allegations in a fair setting, I would jump at the chance. 
    But I refuse to participate in a process that is so one-sided and unfair. There is zero physical evidence to support the outlandish and heinous claims. 
    The only physical evidence here is the hundreds of controls I have passed with flying colors. I made myself available around the clock and around the world. In competition. Out of competition. Blood. Urine. Whatever they asked for I provided. What is the point of all this testing if, in the end, USADA will not stand by it? From the beginning, this investigation has not been about learning the truth or cleaning up cycling but about punishing me at all costs. I am a retired cyclist, yet USADA has lodged charges over 17 years old despite its own 8-year limitation. As respected organizations such as UCI (international cycling union) and USA Cycling have made clear, USADA lacks jurisdiction even to bring these charges. At every turn, USADA has played the role of a bully, threatening everyone in its way. 
    The bottom line is I played by the rules that were put in place by the UCI, World Anti-Doping Agency and USADA when I raced. The idea that athletes can be convicted today without positive A and B samples - under the same rules and procedures that apply to athletes with positive tests - perverts the system and creates a process where any begrudged ex-teammate can open a USADA case out of spite or cut a sweetheart deal. 
    USADA cannot assert control of a professional international sport and attempt to strip my seven Tour de France titles. I know who won those seven Tours. Today I turn the page. "

People will say whatever they have to, but I'm happy that Lance has gone out on his own terms, guilty or not! I was, I am and I will continue to be a believer in Lance and everything he has achieved. I still believe that he has been the truest bearer of the maillot jaune. 

Janmashtami: A traditional celebration or an exhibition of flesh?

It is visuals like this that that have become the norm for 'traditional celebrations' like Janmashtashtami over the last few years. This year, though, all decency, culture, traditions and moral values have been burnt in the fire of 'entertainment'

We are now a society, who are welcoming porn stars to be chief guests to our traditional celebrations. Yes, traditional celebrations and not fashion shows or casting couch sessions!

We are now a society, where every child very well knows that picture sirf teen cheezo se chalti hain: 'Entertainment, Entertainment, Entertainment' and it is with the promise of this entertainment that event organizers are trying to marry to starkly different visuals and values together.

I'm sorry, but I just don't see the connection!

I mean what the hell is wrong with the guys organizing these events? Do we really need to have celebrities like Sunny Leone to attend these events? Are there no more celebrities who represent our culture and values anymore? Why are we mixing sex and culture when we can mix glamour and culture? 

The Old Friends

Jack sat there alone, looking at the group of youngsters gearing up for their Friendship’s Day lunch. There was excitement and buzz among those kids, just like he had felt on this day, some 25 years ago. How much had changed he thought. That group of such good friends had drifted apart, or was he the one who had drifted apart from them?

His thoughts got interrupted by the noise at the table of youngsters. One of the guys was making a valiant attempt at catching the attention of the girl he fancied, at the rest of the group was in uproar because of that. The girl could not do much but blush.

He smiled to himself at the scene. His thoughts drifted to his mannerisms as a young man. He had some great times with those friends, and he sorely missed that. He wondered whether he would be sitting alone over a cup of coffee today if things had not gone sour between them. He made every attempt possible to replace those friends, with many combinations of new ones, but it just was never the same. He had friends today, lots of them, but none of them as true as those. That was why Jack enjoyed the solitude more than spending time with the people he now called friends.

Before he realized it, he was done with his coffee. He paid the bill, put on his coat and walked out of the café, feeling the warmth in his heart of good memories of a time long gone by. He thought of his old friends, smiled and hoped that one day the burnt bridges can be repaired. 

Of Bombs, Blasts and Terrorism

This surely might come across as a random rant about the recent bomb blasts in Pune. But, rather than complaining about the incompetency of governments, confused policemen, unconcerned politicians, this is our chance to look upon a generation who lives in the constant fear of terrorism and militancy. We have, over the last decade experienced and encountered 'terrorism' in a way that generations before never had. Between Mumbai and Pune itself, the last four of five years have witnessed many such attacks. These attacks are not on the cities, these attacks are on the people, on a generation that has now become so immune to such happenings, that it has begun treating these blasts as a common part of their lives. We hear about a bomb blast and simply put up a status or send out a tweet asking people to take care. We have become casual about these blasts. We have become casual about the fact that the government is doing squat, hell, we have become so casual that the next generation will feel left out if their city doesn't get bombed every year or so.

Yes, there is loss of life and property. Yes, we feel the pain. Yes, we want to get up and make and difference. Yes, we want to usher in change. But in a country with selfish, gluttonous pigs for politicians and puppets for governments, there is very little a generation can do. We have got used to sitting back and taking it.
That will change, and very soon. Till then, the older generation will feel the tremor of every bomb and the younger generation will accept it as a part of the time that they live in. 

Book Bound: Zero Day by David Baldacci

Zero Day

Author: David Baldacci

Now, I must confess that I am relatively new to David Baldacci, especially when compared to Jeffrey Archer and John Grisham, but I simply cannot draw a parallel since each of them is in a league of their own, and rightly so.

This is my second David Baldacci book, after Absolute Power which was one of his first books over 15 years ago.

David Baldacci, has struck gold with Zero Day and this is mostly because of Special Agent John Puller. John Puller is a war hero, a special agent with the Military CID and he is among the best at what he does.

In Zero Day, Agent Puller is sent into a struggling rural American coal town to investigate the mysterious murder of a Colonel with the DIA and his family. Agent Puller teams up with a local police Sergeant, Samantha Cole in his quest to get to the bottom of these murders.

As the investigation proceeds, more and more bodies start piling up, but the entire equation behind their deaths doesn’t. Agent Puller gets thrown into the investigation all alone, with the top brass keeping a close eye on the progress. John Puller keeps digging and nearly gets blown up on two occasions.

Agent Puller is the younger son of Army Legend, Lt. General John Puller Sr., now an old man with Alzheimer’s.  His older brother is serving a prison sentence for treason, the reasons of which were not explained. John Puller is portrayed as the perfect American soldier – Tall, Fit, Strong, Technically sound and knows how to follow orders. Puller’s exploits in Afghanistan have earned him several accolades, but he has still not come to terms with losing his 

entire team at war.

What caught my attention the most is Puller’s inept ability to assess situations, being prepared for the worst and the skill to read between the lines.  

His pairing with Sergeant Cole and the development of their dynamic was interesting but largely predictable. The involvement of her entire family created an added complexity, especially with her brother – in – law playing a pivotal role.

David Baldacci has wonderfully weaved in the hazards of surface mining and their impact on the environment. The inclusion of nuclear bombs and technology, while being at the center of the plot, somehow only serves the role of giving the story an explosive ending, where it could have done a lot more.

I will rate Zero Day a 3.5/5. Whenever the book lacks in certain areas, John Puller more than makes up for it. Baldacci has created a memorable character in Puller, a character who we should get to read more about. As far as I am concerned, the book has only just scratched the surface of John Puller.  

Screen Struck: Review of 'The Dark Knight Rises'

Promises were made that this will be the EPIC conclusion to Christopher Nolan's Batman. And EPIC was what was delivered.

Set eight years after Batman took the fall for Two Face Harvey Dent's crimes, all with the hope of making Gotham crime free. Batman's sacrifice has paid off, until terrorist Bane threatens to wipe Gotham City off the map permanently. 

The Dark Knight Rises had the uphill task of living up to the standards set by The Dark Knight in 2008 and Christopher Nolan, with the success of Inception under his belt, has put together and made great great use of a stellar cast all working together like a well oiled machine. 

Every character, developed beautifully, each telling their own story, some torn apart by their loyalties and some driven by their vengeance.

Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon, Michael Caine as Alfred, Joseph Gordon - Levitt as Blake and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox all play key roles in Bruce's journey to finding himself and the Batman again. 

Anne Hathaway as Selina, the catty thief whose only priority is herself, treads the fine line between good and bad, responsible and ruthless perfectly well, adding that needed dose of glamour and oomph into the story. 

Marion Cotillard essays the role of Miranda, a wealthy philanthropist with a twisted past. Despite being so pivotal to the entire plot line, the development of this character is somehow lacking and though a very powerful climax is delivered, a lot is left to the imagination and one can only imagine the impact of a more powerful character could have had on the entire movie. 

Tom Hardy, the Bane of this movie, delivers a role that is powerful and strong. To fill in the boots of Heath Ledger's JOKER is virtually impossible, and Tom Hardy does his bit to become Batman's worst nightmare. Nolan successfully takes Batman to his breaking point with great delivery and orchestration from Bane. But despite the brute force, Bane never holds you the way The Joker did, but thats being way too hard on any body, even though he is the central negative character of the entire movie. 

The Dark Knight in 2008, was purely about the JOKER, the evil and the madness, and the The Dark Knight Rises is only about Batman. Christian Bale does an excellent job of portraying the struggles of a fallen hero. The conflict in him to protect his city at any cost or to live a comfortable life and a sprawling business empire. He takes on a journey of determination and belief, of failures and successes, of transcending beyond a broken body, making sacrifices and protecting what you love the most. For me Christian Bale is Batman. Period. 

Despite its fairly long run time, the movie keeps you engaged and waiting for what is to happen next. The production quality is impeccable and true. It is not a run of the mill superhero movie with action sequences one after the other, Nolan has taken the time and effort to create a story, to incorporate the drama and fiction which make this film stand apart and stand leagues ahead of what I have seen in recent times. 

The downsides? 

Bane, with his mask, was difficult to understand at times. The plethora of characters has resulted in lack of development of certain key characters. The romance between Bruce and Miranda, seemed out of place and unnecessary. 

The biggest downside though, was the lack of 'Batman' time. I surely could have done with more time of him in his cape. 

These few downsides do not undermine the magnitude of this movie at all. I came out a pretty satisfied customer and could not hide my joy for quite a while. 

I'd give The Dark Knight Rises a 4.5 out of 5. 

Till next time. 

The Trail : Prologue

She stood there in utter disbelief, shocked and confused about what just happened. The world as she knew it suddenly ceased to exist. She saw the blood but couldn’t feel the pain. There was a whirlwind of action around her, chaos and mayhem, action and chatter. But she was completely cut away.

She still stood there, unaware, even when all the noise around her subsided. A tap on her shoulder brought her back to reality. An officer, probably from the local police department was saying something to her. She could see him talking, but couldn’t hear him. All she could do was stare.

It was only when she finally saw that serious face that she so very well recognized, that she cracked, tears pouring from her eyes, trying to make sense of all the mayhem that she might have just caused. She braced herself for what she was about to hear. He made his way to her, face full of disappointment and said “Rita, I hope you fully understand the implications of what just happened here.”


To be continued......

PS: The Trail, is simply a working title for all posts to follow under this.

Book Bound: Review of Only Time Will Tell

Only Time Will Tell

The Clifton Chronicles: Volume One

Author: Jeffrey Archer

Only Time Will Tell is the first installment of ‘The Clifton Chronicles’ touted to be Archer’s most ambitious undertaking yet.

Only Time Will Tell - set in post World War I Bristol, England takes us through the riveting beginning of Harry Clifton’s journey.

Born to a War Hero, Arthur Clifton, who Harry believed died in the war. It is a very long journey after which Harry actually learns how his father died, and which in turn throws up the question of whether Arthur was even his father or not.

In the backdrop of the First World War and the inevitability of the Second World War, Harry meets with incredible characters, all who play a pivotal role in helping him achieve his potential.  

Harry’s mother, Maisie Clifton, widowed by the greed of enterprise, is the perfect mother, making every sacrifice after the tragic death of her husband to ensure that Harry gets everything he ever needed. An extraordinary and smart woman, Maisie is constantly faced with difficult choices, some which could even demean her character. She perseveres through it all to ensure that her son sees through school, high school and finds a place at Oxford.

As a young boy, Harry would accompany his uncle, Stan to the docks where he would work. Here Harry meets Old Jack Tar, a brilliant man with a troubled past. Old Jack Tar sparks the inquisitiveness for knowledge in Harry and coaxes him to attend school. It is at school that Harry discovers his exceptional vocal skills and wins a choral scholarship to a prestigious school in Bristol.

At school, Harry makes his first friends after Old Jack Tar, Deakins and Giles. The three boys form a bond for their entire life, which continues into High School and even at Oxford.  Giles is the son of Hugo Barrington, the owner of the docks that Harry’s father used to work. As the boys grow, their friendship strengthens and with that, Mr. Hugo Barrington’s hatred toward Harry grew as well, something that puzzled Giles and his mother. Mr. Hugo’s indifferent behavior was never clearly understood by Harry either.

Over time, Harry falls deeply in love with Giles’s sister, Emma. Mr. Barrington’s rage at this discovery brings his family to the brink of falling apart. It is at this time that he admits he may have been responsible for the death of Arthur Clifton.  Somehow, Harry overlooks this with the hope of being with Emma. Without much ado, Harry proposes to Emma, who willingly accepts. In the middle of this, Harry gets accepted in Oxford and also makes a shocking discovery about his mother.

Just before the wedding, Harry is introduced to the fact that Mr. Barrington might actually be his father. With this discovery and on understanding the potential implications, Harry stops attending classes at Oxford and decides to join the Navy. Harry hops aboard a cargo ship sailing towards America to learn the ropes of sailing. The unexpected announcement of war and a split second decision by Harry, and the serious implications that they might have will impact the course of the books to follow.

Jeffrey Archer’s style of narration is surely the highlight of the book, where each pivotal character progresses the story from their point of view. It is amazing to read the book in such a manner as it does not getting boring and key holes in the story get filled up along the way.

At the end of the book, many interesting questions get thrown up in the mind: Will Harry, now a completely different person be able to get out of the mess he has got himself into? Will he succeed Mr. Hugo Barrington for his entire Empire? Will Emma and Harry ever be able to be together?  

I would rate the book a 4/5 thanks to some great characters, the flow of the book and the fact that it leaves you hanging at a point where you just cant wait for the next one. It makes for a quick and enjoyable read. The narration style comes out on the top and makes me look forward to reading The Sins of the Father, the second installment of the Clifton Chronicles.

RIGMAROLE VII

This blog post is a continuation from: http://eternallypale.blogspot.in/2012/04/rigmarole-vi.html 


Both Mikros and Half Pint understood the pain of poor Twerp and did not push him further with anymore questions. Mikros walked along the path that Half Pint had set him on. The excitement of meeting the wizard had Mikros so excited that he broke into a run. Half Pint and Twerp held on the edge of his pocket for their dear lives, but the gush of wind was too strong for them to hold on for long. They decided to go down into the pocket and catch up on some rest.

Mikros was more than happy, for he now got the chance to be on his own and imagine what he could become after meeting the wizard. He had never been so excited and happy in a very very long time.

Back inside the pocket, Half Pint and Twerp exhausted by the unexpected turn of events over the last few days fell asleep almost immediately. In deep slumber, Half Pint dreamed of the reunion with his father, the powerful Wizard of Ounce, both excited and nervous

On the other hand, Twerp was tossing and turning, disturbed with the freshly resurfaced thoughts of his father, the infamous ‘Pervertous Magnus.’ What started out as a dream, turned into a nightmare with images he had seen as a kid flooding back to memory. Twerp suddenly awoke, sweating and shivering. Before he could say anything to the fast asleep Half Pint, Mikros let out a cry for help.

Mikros stood confused at a rather unique crossroad, from where eight different paths diverged, but all of them carried a sign leading to the same place: ’The Castle of Ounce’. Mikros was intelligent, but he just could not wrap his head around this.

Twerp woke Half Pint up, and showed him their new predicament. Half Pint’s eyes opened wide in amazement, he was quiet for a couple of minutes and then cracked up in wild laughter. Both Mikros and Twerp were so confused that the only thing they could was wait for Half Pint to stop.

Finally, after catching his breath, Half Pint proudly announced: ‘Welcome to the Castle of Ounce’. He had Mikros let him down onto the ground and then childlike again, Half Pint muttered and jumbled a few words. He stepped back and waited. The 8 different paths moved all at once and transformed into one broad pathway leading straight ahead into a town, at the end of which a magnificent castle was seen

A voice suddenly bellowed from inside the town seemingly coming from the castle:

“You dare step foot on Ounce soil again! What brings you home Colorius, the wizard prophesised to bring rainbows back to the world?”

This post will be continued at: http://anujaponkshe.blogspot.in/2012/05/rigmarole-vol-viii-continued-from.html

Another Hiatus comes to an end

Two and a half years!!!! Two and a half f****ng years have gone by.

Things have changed and so have perceptions,
Things have changed and so have situations,
Things have changed and so have relations.

But, that is not the objective of this post, the objective is to thank the current schematic of things that have brought about the end to the hiatus.

There is more to come, all about travels and journeys, triumphs and tribulations.

Till then,
Adios, ciao, goodbye and the works!

After ages, i am thinking again :)

An interesting question thrown at me today got me thinking. I being the only person at the table who was not in a relationship, was thought to be the ideal person to answer. The question was whether I would prefer to be in a relationship or just a friend with benefits. Now for the uninitiated like me, a friend with benefits is just like any other friend but with the benefits of a girlfriend or boyfriend (whichever applicable to your personal tastes and preferences) with no strings attached in the sense of commitment or the likes. I have to admit, the question did catch me off guard, but when I think of it, the answer surely is that I would prefer to be in a relationship rather than to have a friend with benefits. My reasoning goes like this, for me as an individual, though being rather detached, I would always want to have a person who I can rely on and also be relied upon at the same time. A lot of things happen in our lives every day and to have something stable and steady really makes a lot of difference. For me, its not the physical aspect of a relationship, but the emotional aspect that matters more. To know, that when your down and out, and when you need something more than what a normal friend can give you, but its not physical what you need, its here when being in a relationship is different. There are separate jurisdictions where friends operate and with someone who shares more than that, the playing field is different, completely different. At the same time, im not against friends being in a relationship, it makes a lot more sense then because you are with someone who knows you as a friend first. So there is comfort and understanding. And when you share something deeper with someone who is already a friend, things are bound to fall in place easier coz of the higher amounts of the already established understanding of one another.
Another interesting observation is that I was asked this question by people who are already in relationships. And as far I know, they are not particularly unhappy there either. So this only fortifies my point to say that, what a relationship can give you, in this case nothing else can. The relationship needs to be solid and long lasting undoubtedly.
We all are looking for the right person in our lives, they might be right in front of us and we never know. Feel what the other person feels for you before you let yourself into the relationship or before you say no to that person. We all need just one person to change our lives. All we need is a hand to hold and a pair of eyes to look into to see that they believe you when you don’t believe in yourself. To feel cared for when you know the world is looking down at you. To know that someone will listen to every little word of yours and say that itll be ok, to know that you mean the world to someone and to feel that you are loved.
There is nothing else to this life, all the pain and anguish will just disappear when you find that hand to hold, those eyes to believe in and that person to embrace.

well till next time,

adios, ciao, goodbye and the works

I Voted!!!!

hey all,
yes yes yes i am in hibernation. that is why i have not blogged and also not been in touch.
i come online today to tell you that i have voted today. crazy experience but fun at the same time. weird to think that you can make a difference. awesomeness i say. the weird part was the ink they use. from what i have seen and understood over the years, they ink your index finger but today they inked the middle finger. just think of it, you want to show that you voted and in the process you might land up offending a few people.

it was fun, and i cant tell you who i voted for but i can tell you that when the opportunity comes your way please make sure that you go out and vote. your vote can make a difference. so do your part.

till then,
adios, ciao, good bye and the works

Well well well its been a week now since my last blog. The last week was particularly crazy, one which involved a lot of thinking (again u will say). The week went flying by, with trips to college, history and French exams and also a trip to Mumbai. Well, to be frank all the craziness of the week has sort of knocked me back into my senses. I have had the opportunity to see and realize that no matter how much I deny it, there are people who will go out of their way for me. It is difficult for me to accept this, but I am coming to a point where I can let my guard down when I am around these people. It has never been easy for me to let myself go around people. There have been a few people who I would like to thank, and say that if it were not for them I would have lost myself a long long time ago.
Anuja Pradhan: the bestest person ever, Simple Awesomeness is what u r.
Avinash : Bro, nice to know that we can talk about things other than u-know-what
DJ: No words to thank you, not that there are no words but I don’t think I have to. That’s one right I have over you.

Well, that pretty much sums it all up. All the people who are very important and really influence the outlook I have. I have thanked all but one.















Rohini, this is one of the rare instances that I am using your name. you have been inspiring and motivating. You have helped me see things in a different light and you have kept my feet firmly grounded and been with me through some of the most difficult times I have seen lately. Again, I salute you.

I salute every single person who cares for me and every moment I spend with you’ll I cherish and wish that times like this never end. You all are a part of my life which I cannot explain.

Thank You and I love you all.


Till then,
Ciao, adios, goodbye and the works.

Well, here I am again after a long time, sharing my thoughts. In my opinion, over the duration of the last week I was exiled. Exiled from my self and sent away into a deep trance where I was sent to search for a few answers. I don’t think that the purpose of the exile has been fully achieved. But I return with a little more clarity and direction. The amount of thought that has been put into my last week is amazing. I have gone through a fair deal of emotional stress, the reasons for which I am still not sure. With the year coming to an end and having to say good bye to a few very important people has been tough and painful nonetheless. And apart from that I have been denied the one thing that I was counting on for the last two years. I know that its all for the good at the end of the day, but for how long can one not feel the pain that things like this bring along with themselves every time? I have let go and forgotten a lot, and am willing to do the same for the rest of my time, but occasionally I will complain and crib and try to be the child who will die for attention. There is a part to me who loves to be cared for and spoilt silly. That is just a small fragment of my being. The rest of my existence is generally accustomed to being shunned and forgotten. It is from this part of my existence that I live every day. The fragment which I don’t need to care for and take for granted. I have achieved a lot like this, but there is no satisfaction, and no happiness whatsoever linked to it. I have always moved away undetected, like those undercurrents which never see the light off the day. I have been pushed and so I push myself, only towards achieving true happiness which has so conveniently evaded me for all these years.

Well, that is how it works I guess.

Till then,

Adios, Ciao, Goodbye and the works.

what a day!!!

the 6th of march 2009 started off as any other day, and as usual i was late. my mother being her nice old self offered to drop me to college, though i knew that she had some other work just by my college, i let her feel that she is doing me a favour and let her bask in that glory of the mother-being-nice-to-the-child-oh-what-a-great-feeling it-is. so there i was ready to tackle a normal day. frankly, i never thought that this day would give me the oppurtunity to take in my hands something that was created with a lot of love and dedication. and as the day unfolded, i was one of the blessed few to hold two things which i can say are the among the most dearest to me at this point of time. first, after an amazing snack (courtesy avinash) we had the final sample copy of the newsletter in our hands. the first this jinxed acamedic year. what a feeling!!!! there were no errors and the copy was beautiful, with bang on spacing between the texts, and colours that i guess no newsletter in symbiosis has ever seen, it is difficult to explain what i was feeling then. and to top it off, i had two amazing people with me, who share the same (actually much much more) passion and dedication to this newsletter. and the smile on dj's face, what can one say. i saw her happy after a really long time. then my other creation, the yearbook for this year was put in my hands. what can i say, even though it was only the sample and had quite a few errors (which i just completed rectifying) it was beautiful. i just cant lay my eyes off it.

it is so weird how attached you get to the things you are a part of, they become a part of your life, a part of every breath you take and most importantly a part of the people you make it with. without the newsletter, im very sure dj, avinash and i would have been such close friends. and now, i would not have ever interacted with neha, rohini, shashvat and all the other fys so much.
im shocked to see how u cant think of life without some things, its like ull never survive another day or simply never see another sunrise. but its the beauty of the team you work with, that at the end of the day, the become more than a team and more than friends, they become your family. and to have people like that around you, those who really care, who are always there for you are the the ones you always take for granted, but still, they love you no less.

till next time,
my friends,

ciao, adios, goodbye and the works.

The Initiation....

well,
we all have to start some where. maybe the supreme almighty chose this day for me, because i had nothing else to do and along with that i needed a place where i can divert my self from the nagging irritation in my brain. after pulling off all nighters for over a week, my control center cannot just be shut off without it going through the monotonous ritual of staring at the laptop screen, stretching my tired limbs and then staring at the laptop screen again. and besides this, keep checking ur inbox every 10 minutes and also keep ur mind on where your business empire on facebook has progressed every half an hour. also, not to mention constantly chatting with Anuja, Sonia or some one else whose online. i for a fact, would have never imagined that i would ever blog, but then here i am.
so till next time, when i hope to have more incentive to write rather than to just waste some time.

adios, ciao, good bye and the works.