Life has always been about maintaining the perfect balance. Right from the word go, you are expected to learn how to strike that balance. In school, you're expected to balance learning and playing. In college, you're expected to balance academics and friends. At work, you're expected to balance a career and a family. When older, you're expected to balance the lives of many people. There is just no end.
The hardest of all, at least from my experience, is to balance your own expectations. The balance needs to be created not only on what you expect, but also on who you expect it from and to what extent do you get affected (positively or otherwise) when that expectation is met or not.
At the outset, it can be seen as objectively as placing a bet on the player who has the highest odds of winning the game.
But in reality, it is not that simple. In reality, we place our bets (expectations) on the player (people/ things) that we have higher affinity (existing ties - friendships, relations etc.) towards and are more comfortable with.
The pitfalls in this method are significant though. The people and things that we have a greater affinity towards, have a higher tendency to let us down on many fronts. The fact that people, over time become comfortable and start to take this for granted is one such pitfall. The worst is that this can snowball beyond control. When things are taken for granted, the first thing to get affected is communication.
When communication stops, the entire eco system of being in a state of awareness comes to a grinding halt. Decisions get arbitrarily made, without the involvement of all those involved, assumptions are made on behalf of other people who have no clue about what is happening, and vital bits of the message get lost in transition and sometimes never find their way to the intended person.
If balance in life is to be achieved, it is not in keeping everyone happy. It also not in doing what pleases only yourself. The key to finding balance is in nurturing an effective communication system where all key stakeholders are involved and care enough to participate. If you are in a system where stakeholders don't care, it is time you cut your losses and move on. It is then that the balance in your life will be achieved.
The hardest of all, at least from my experience, is to balance your own expectations. The balance needs to be created not only on what you expect, but also on who you expect it from and to what extent do you get affected (positively or otherwise) when that expectation is met or not.
At the outset, it can be seen as objectively as placing a bet on the player who has the highest odds of winning the game.
But in reality, it is not that simple. In reality, we place our bets (expectations) on the player (people/ things) that we have higher affinity (existing ties - friendships, relations etc.) towards and are more comfortable with.
The pitfalls in this method are significant though. The people and things that we have a greater affinity towards, have a higher tendency to let us down on many fronts. The fact that people, over time become comfortable and start to take this for granted is one such pitfall. The worst is that this can snowball beyond control. When things are taken for granted, the first thing to get affected is communication.
When communication stops, the entire eco system of being in a state of awareness comes to a grinding halt. Decisions get arbitrarily made, without the involvement of all those involved, assumptions are made on behalf of other people who have no clue about what is happening, and vital bits of the message get lost in transition and sometimes never find their way to the intended person.
If balance in life is to be achieved, it is not in keeping everyone happy. It also not in doing what pleases only yourself. The key to finding balance is in nurturing an effective communication system where all key stakeholders are involved and care enough to participate. If you are in a system where stakeholders don't care, it is time you cut your losses and move on. It is then that the balance in your life will be achieved.
Good one Akash! Keep posting more of such amazing stuff!
ReplyDeleteWould love it if you can find time to review some of my writing @ mohitgolchha.wordpress.com sometime!
cheers!